| And We Sweared By Our Wrists On The Trampoline, That We Saw Detachable Wings At The Crime Scene. |
[30 Dec 2008|09:01pm] |
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mood |
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 sore |
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music |
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Joanna Newsom: Sawdust And Diamonds |
] |
Last night I went up to Nashville with Dustin and Kori to pick up Jessica at the airport. Dustin introduced me to Rufus Wainwright. After we picked up Jessica, we met up with Courtney and Caitlin at Cafe Coco, and had a late night coffee get-together. Courtney brought home-made chocolate chip cookies for all of us to munch on. Then we went back to Courtney's amazing little apartment and played Scrabble all night while smoking her pretty little sky-blue pipe and drinking that kid's juice that comes in plastic containers shaped like little barrels. I had the Red Drink and Kori had the Purple Drink.
Red Drink tasted like melted cough drops.
After we finished the Scrabble game, we all got up and filed out of Courtney's apartment, back to Dustin's car. I half-slept the whole ride back, and had half-dreams. I have started dreaming again. But I haven't been writing them down and I need to.
The night before last, some more stuff happened. We ended up at James's house and then we ended up at Nathan's house. James and Nathan were both violently drunk. And Nathan's house is actually home to 3 people's spirits, and its scary, because you can feel them. As soon as you walk in and sit down, you can feel them. I do not like Nathan's house very much for this reason. I have never walked into someone's house before and said, "Your house...there is something wrong with this house."
But I did at Nathan's. Because everybody can feel it. And it was scary at first.
They were drunk and smashing apart children's toys in a tiny upstairs room. Then James said something about a Secret Garden, so we all walked out into the cold to find it. It was on the property of some local school. It was late and it was dark and there were security cameras and dogs barking in the distance. At one point we followed Nathan until he turned around abruptly and started walking in the other direction and said we should be prepared to run if the cops show up.
So we ran along a chainlink fence and behind some holly bushes and into a garden. The Secret Garden. And Nathan dissapeared. So Kori and James left me sitting alone in the dark garden hiding under a porch while they went to look for Nathan. Nathan apparently had turned around and walked home without us already. So we got up and walked back to his house.
On the way back, Kori and I were walking together and I saw something gleaming under a streetlight on the side of the road. At first I thought it was garbage but as we approached it I immediately recognized the shape as a white wing. I ran towards it and Kori saw it at the same time. We both ran and stopped, panting over it, and we realized it was a massive set of white feather wings. The good kind they use in productions or plays. And they were huge and sopping wet and lying in a box that also had a big plastic skull in it. Somebody was throwing them away and we found them. They smelled a little funny because they had been rained on, but we didn't care. Naturally, Kori put them on.
Now these wings were so big and lovely that they actually were proportionatly correct. For Kori. And Kori is six foot something. They are big.
So Kori put on the wings and we continued our walk back to Nathan's house. We saw as we approached that Nathan's door was open and he was watching us walk up the middle of the road. Then we walked under another streetlight, and he saw Kori, wings and all, flanked by James and I. We stopped under the streetlight and just stood there for a minute, staring at him. then we went to the door and Nathan said, "You know...you know...I have to ask...are you wearing fucking angel wings? And...when..did this happen."
So we put them in James's car and took James back home. Then we left the wings at his house to dry and de-smell. We are going to go back and bleach them clean later.
New Year's is tomorrow night. Animal Collective is playing in Atlanta. All of my friends want to go but it's probably sold out. I have also been told there might be a trip to Short Mountain and that could be interesting. And cold. And adventurous. And full of Fairies fucking and dancing all over the place.
Kori's mom bought me a magnifying glass for Christmas.
It's shaped like a giant key, with a magnifying glass in the rounded handle. It is encrusted with jewels and looks like a movie prop from an awesome movie. So far for Christmas I have gotten the Looking-glass key and a candle that melts into a sumptous smelling massage oil.
That's it, I guess.
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| The dogs have gone, and left only their bones. |
[27 Dec 2008|07:55pm] |
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music |
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Hop Along, Queen Ansleis: The Big House |
] |
I really want this. :(
He said,"I love you, I love you, I love you!"
She said, "I love you, I love you I love you!"
He said, "I love you too! Oh, how I have loved you!"
She said, "I need you, I need you, I need you!"
He said, "I need you, I need you, I need you!"
She said, "I need you too. Oh, how I have needed you!"
He said,"Let's get married, let's get married, let's get married! I want to marry you!"
She said, "I don't want to marry you, no, I don't want to marry you."
He said, "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
She said, "I hate you too. No, wait, I could never hate you," she said
He said, "I'm kidding, I still love you."
Grandpa says,
"I don't much understand what these kids are saying these days, but it sounds...really pretty anyway. Oh let them stay...don't move away. Oh no.."
But I promise, you're gonna fucking love it! The air is clean and the water is clear! Oh my god dear!
How happy we will be, so
make like your mother, and run.
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| i cant explain to any of you what it felt like when i saw these pictures. |
[28 Nov 2008|11:54am] |
Two nights ago I had a dream involving seeing something happen
that apparently happened the next day, and if it wasn't for the news, I would never have noticed.
I had this dream on Wednesday night.
( the dome )
I told my dad about it and how I had seen in the newspaper
"People ducked as shots were fired Thursday from inside the Taj Mahal Palace and Tower Hotel"
"Does the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel have a dome?"
"Yes."
"Was it...on fire at all?"
and he said
"Well, lets go look at pictures from the news and see if there are any similarities."
( this is what we saw. )
I don't really know what to think.
All I know is i think seeing my chiropractor un-blocked my dream channel or something, because this was the first dream I have had in quite some time. I am used to having fucked up, detailed, terrifying dreams. But the lack of them recently started to worry me.
And that was what I saw.
That was what I saw, on Wednesday night.
And it actually happened on Thursday.
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| tentacular |
[23 Nov 2008|09:15pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
] |
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music |
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Robert Plant: Your Ma Said You Cried In Your Sleep Last Night |
] |
( this is why I love shopping in China Town. )
unfortunately i really do appreciate material things sometimes.
The lyrics of this song seem eerily familiar.
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[22 Nov 2008|12:07am] |
I just went to a DINER and had coffee and pudding and storytyme with a Will and a Matt Johnson!!!
::squeal::
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| well its very obvious i have a webcam for the duration of my visit. |
[19 Nov 2008|11:07am] |
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mood |
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gone |
] |
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music |
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Animal Collective: Winter's Love |
] |
( oo sparkly sprinkleflakes all over my Bedeziphant! )
Holy crap the lake behind my house is freezing, and there are tons of big fat squirrels romping around my backyard and hilariously trying to infiltrate the bird-feeder.
My mom bought a ridiculous looking "harness" for Flanders.
She put my soul cat, in a harness and leash.
But dear god it is so fucking funny to see him waddling around with my tubby Daddeh.
My dad came to get me at the airport yesterday. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see his face.
I spent 2 hours crying in my moms arms.
I read more of The House With A Clock In It's Walls. I've read it hundreds of times. But its such a comforting book to me. Any of John Bellairs books, really. They keep my mind wonderfully occupied.
Im all alone in the house now, watching the geese glide into the frozen water outside, which is currently sparkling like a thousand tiny suns.
Im not happy
but I guess that will change.
It's really surreal to be back in this house.
At the moment it feels like I never left New Jersey, and Huntsville was just one long, horrific, disgusting, confusing, life-draining nightmare.
It really feels like I never left.
But...I know I did...
I know I did.
Being back here also reminds me of the passage of time. Things have changed so much here, but I know I wouldn't have noticed if I'd been living here this whole time.
Being aware of how much time has passed is a little disorienting.
I want to go see Shelley but he is hours away and I don't think I'll be able to see him today.
BUT IM GOING TO THE CHIROPRACTOR TODAY
finally
finally
someone will fix my back.
Time to go work on Shaba in the winter sun, and let the fat squirrels entertain me.
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[17 Nov 2008|11:16am] |
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself,
and that person is not to be found anywhere.
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.
You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
-Buddah
will i cry when its all over
when i die, will i see heaven
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| Are You My Super Salve |
[15 Nov 2008|12:48pm] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
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music |
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Aqualung: Strange And Beautiful |
] |
Well, I'm going on a trip to New Jersey in 3 days. That snuck up on me, I haven't even thought about packing or anything.
But this does mean my time limit to finish Shaba's painting has been cut back severly. I want to finish it before I leave.
But Mike just called me and told me very timidly about maybe taking a rather sudden road trip to Asheville again, starting...tonight. Just for the weekend.
I suppose I could bring Shaba with me and try to finish him there, but I know I'd get distracted, because we'd be in Asheville. I need to finish him. Staring at an unfinished painting drives me up the wall.
I'm starting to worry about my Jersey trip. I don't really want to stay as long as I'm set up for. And only two or three people actually want to see me and spend time with me. I wonder what Zeke will be up to.
SHIT. I also have to finish Andrea's painting. Shit.
---------------------------
Max, Ish, Mike, Layla, Scotty, Ivy and I went up on the mountain again the other night. It was dark and the mountain was covered completely in thick, thick fog. We found our way through the shadows and shifting banks to the tea-house again.
That place now has more importance to me than I ever could have imagined.
The air was close and silent, sound was muffled and amplified at the same time. It was chilly and damp, and Layla had brought her little weener dawg puppy.
We sat in the tea-house and ate Fruity Pebbles together while playing golf.
Ivy had brought his camera and he took pictures out into the blackness surrounding us, which was broken by looming sillouhettes of tree trunks and shadowy bulks.
All the pictures of the woods outside the tea-house, just came out as walls of white bulbous
fog, and some of them looked like they had faces embeded inside them. He some pictures of us, too. Hopefully I'll be able to post some of the pictures that have been taken lately...there have been alot, I just havent had access to them.
Lord knows what's going to happen this weekend. But I know it won't be dull. At all. I won't let it be dull.
Last night was lazy and I liked it. Chris went with Serah to some hookah bar in Murfreesboro TN, so Ivy came over to our place and we curled up on the couches and read together and drank tea and got highly affected. So affected in fact that we both fell asleep in the middle of our reading session. Also Max and Ish came over and I made everybody spaghetti.
-------------------
Am I happier than I have been in a long time?
Or am I tricking myself because I am so desperate for something to spark the life into me that I used to radiate
and no one used to respond to
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[10 Nov 2008|02:10pm] |
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"In April, they were in a completely nebulous state, and today are two of the most "in-love" people that I know. I know what they went through and I know it was serious, but being privy to their healing process gave me a vastly new perspective on loving recklessly and beautifully. It gives me great faith to know that they survived what they did, and did so gracefully in the end."
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[03 Nov 2008|09:39am] |
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mood |
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 cold |
] |
And the little white dove,
made with love, made with love,
made with
glue, and a glove, and some pliers,
swings a low sickle arc from its perch in the dark
Settle down, settle down my desire.
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[02 Nov 2008|07:05pm] |
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mood |
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 dirty |
] |
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music |
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The Concretes: Lady December |
] |
that party
was fucking AWESOME.
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| me |
[30 Oct 2008|09:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Of Montreal: City Bird |
] |
City bird, haven't you heard?
Hasn't anybody told you?
The city blocks can't hold you,
Your place is in the sky, how can I show you?
City bird, haven't you heard
of the boundlessness of your freedom?
The sky is your blue kingdom,
And you neglect your wings like you don't need them.
City bird, maybe these hands that feed you,
need you.
Maybe you understand that, city bird.
City bird, maybe these hands that feed you
need you
Maybe you understand that, city bird.
City bird, haven't you heard?
Hasn't anybody told you?
The city blocks can't hold you...
Your place is in the sky, how can I show you?
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| faced. |
[29 Oct 2008|09:35am] |
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mood |
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dirty |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Arcade Fire: Black Wave/Bad Vibrations |
] |
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[27 Oct 2008|02:03pm] |
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it's time for me to leave.
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[24 Oct 2008|07:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Shiny Toy Guns: Don't Cry Out |
] |
Matt and Chris just left for Tunica, and neither of them hugged me goodbye.
and now I'm all by myself.
And its a bit like not exsisting at all.
I keep standing in the middle of the apartment and staring around at the walls like I expect to find something new there to distract me, but there never is.
a small part of my newest painting of my friend, Shaba, das Löwer.
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